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Ken Griffey Jr.
(a chip off the old trading block) – A T-shirt with this inscription: There’s
no place like home.
MarvAlbert
(sports announcer turned cross dresser turned sports announcer) – Dennis
Rodman’s hand-me-downs.
Mike Holmgren
(Seattle Seahawks head coach and King) – A longer losing streak.
Orlando Brown (Cleveland
Browns lineman and referee abuser) – See Jesse
"The Mind" Ventura.
Charles Barkley (ex-NBA
star and role model) – A smart running mate for his political
aspirations and a golf pro.
Scottie Pippen
(ex-Michael Jordan protégé) and Ryan Leaf (spoiled brat)
– My infant son’s pacifier.
Stephon Marbury and
Steve Francis (of NBA Kids fame) – Their mommies.
Shaquille O’Neal (NBA
Goliath) – A free throw line just for him, one foot from the basket.
Major League Baseball
– A salary cap, one size fits all.
Peter Warrick
(Florida State wide receiver and opportunistic clothier) – The shirt off
my back.
Pete Rose
(Baseball’s all-time hit leader and bookie) – A muzzle the size of his
ego or Texas, whichever is bigger.
Adrian Beltre
(Los Angeles Dodger jail bait) – A fake ID. Oops! Too late.
John
Rocker (Atlanta Braves pitcher and New York hater) – A Big Apple
Tourism Guide.
To all readers of the Gazette:
Merry
Christmas
and Happy Holidays
!!
Read Last Week's Column
|
ou
better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout, I’m telling
you why. Santa Claus is coming, Santa Claus is coming, Santa Claus is
coming ….to town.
