Is It Miller Time?
by Tom Rathkamp
 ports is about
entertainment. Sports is a business. Sports is fun. Sports is serious. The
casual or apathetic fan fails to grasp the seriousness of sports. The
die-hard, "live and breathe" sports nut snickers at those who
say that sports is all about fun, and fun only.
Basically, sports is everything and anything we say it is. At
the core of such an examination is the electrifying, controversial,
vulgar, kid-like, confident comedian who now inhabits the Monday Night
Football (MNF) booth, Dennis Miller. There’s so much material afloat for
columnists such as myself, but this MNF experiment dangles in front of our
faces with as much temptation as a big, thick chocolate brownie (with
walnuts, of course).
Miller now holds three telecasts under his belt, all pre-season games.
The proverbial jury might as well be a kite flying in a stiff wind, all
over the map. The temptation of yours truly is to polarize my readership
by penning a one-sided, yay or nay column that either bashes
Miller as a sorry excuse for a *&%$* or hails the brave, courageous
entertainer that he truly is. Through observation, interviews, bar-room
chats, et al, I have concluded that the yays and nays (and
everyone in-between) fall into the following camps: Humorists, Get a
Lifers, and Wait it Out-ers.
The Humorists believe that Dennis Miller is good for the
telecasts because he’s funny, and that any negative critics are fuddy
duddies. They’re most likely fans of Miller, the comedian, and are
willing to add him to their MNF living rooms without hesitation or regret.
I haven’t the time (or resources) for a straw poll, but I would bet a
Canadian nickel that members of this camp – and this camp only – also
watch the WWF.
The Get a Lifers absolutely abhor his mere existence in MNF, and
his utter lack of "broadcasting" experience. They view Miller’s
hiring as a sham, a gimmick, and at best, a novelty. They probably don’t
care for him as a comedian, hence, care even less about him as a sports
broadcaster. They accept only "real" sports experts, even though
they end up disagreeing with 80% of them anyway.
The Wait it Out-ers aren’t quite sure yet, often
verbalizing phrases such as "I don’t see anything wrong
with him" or "Give him some time." The members
of this camp might be indecisive, fair, or apathetic.
Where do I fall? Actually, a little part of me lives inside all three.
(Just call me Sybil.)
I’m a Humorist because I’ve listened to a glut of sports
announcers over the years, and tend to favor the funny ones. The list is
endless: Uecker, Madden, Barber … on and on. Across the board objection
to the influx of humor that Dennis Miller provides would be a tad
hypocritical. Here comes the but: With those other guys, they mixed
in a bundle of expertise with a drop of humor here and there. Will Miller’s
perpetual wise cracks and jokes get old after a while? It’s possible. He’s
already spouted at least one vulgar (sexual) reference, which completely
turned me off. (This might overlap into the Get a Lifer camp.). It’s
obvious that his football knowledge does not balance his comical ability.
Then again, his new bosses already knew that.
I’m a Get a Lifer because part of me doubts the practicality
of bringing a raw sports voice into the booth, and also questions if
Miller will talk at nauseum like some his predecessors. Will
the experience of Al Michaels or the football acumen of Dan Fouts be
diluted to the point of non-recognition? What about the major sports
media? Will they castigate him or welcome him? Ask me after week 8 of the
regular season.
Finally, I’m a Wait it Out-er because I really
do see the fairness of waiting until the regular season begins before I
cast total judgment. Also, call me old school but I still believe that the
game (remember that?) is the only thing that can sustain my interest over
a three-hour period. Furthermore, if the Packers and Vikings are playing a
donnybrook, I’m not gonna turn off the tube just because Miller is
making my skin crawl. I’m more inclined to be apathetic because of my
absurd obsession with the actual game.
In conclusion, I wasn’t against the hiring when I heard about it,
primarily because I fully expected someone outside the sports fraternity
to snag the job. I am a fan of Miller, the comedian, and he did
make me laugh the other night. Does that mean I think he deserves the
role? That’s not for me to decide. If the MNF powers-that-be were
looking for a balance between the announcer in Michaels and the commentator
in Fouts, they might have bowled a strike. Wasn’t Howard Cosell that
balance in the infantile years of MNF?
Ask yourself this: Do you ever want a reprisal of Boomer Esiason
and Dan Dierdorf playing tug-of-war with each other’s microphones? How
about arguing about a play that occurred in the first quarter at the same
time Al Michaels tries to describe a running play in the third quarter?
The memories of those putrid football-casts alone prompt me to
give Dennis Miller a chance. Either way, it’s Miller Time for now.
Any comments, criticisms, or condemnations on this sports column or
previous ones? Feel free to email me at andydan@milwpc.com
Read Last Week's Column
|
