Signed, Impatient in Manhattan

I hate waiting on line to pay for things. I am probably the most impatient wait-on-line-er in all of NYC. I get it from my dad, who gets just as fidgety as I do when I have to stand in one place for too long.

Ever walk into Duane Reade with the intention of buying one—maybe two—things? (I’ll go in for toilet paper and end up buying one or two more household items) You wait on a really, really long line for your TWO purchases to be rung up? And how long are you waiting on that line? Honestly, probably 4 minutes. But it always feels like 45. Even worse, there is only one register open, the line is literally down an isle, and the person in front of you is buying 19 things. If you’re like me, you fidget, you check your watch, you read the back of your shampoo bottle—anything to pass the time until you can FINALLY pay for your toothbrush and shampoo. Then when you finally, FINALLY get to the front of the line, they look at you like you’re an idiot when you say, “I don’t have a Duane Reade card.”

I am not a very patient person and the sad thing is, I have gotten MORE impatient over the years when it comes to standing in line.

It all started when I was a kid, and we went to Disney World as a family. I think I dragged my parents on every single ride. Excited to hit The Magic Kingdom, in my four-year-old glory and Mickey Mouse ears, I begged my parents to ride "It's a Small World" with me. Over and over and over again. Same went for "Dumbo"--if there was a ride in the Disney theme park, I wanted 'in.' My parents still hate that "It's a Small World After All" song because of how many times I begged for them to take me on those boats. Over and over and over--we'd get off the ride and I'd want to go on..."just one more time. PUH-LEAAAAZE????"

Anyway, Disney World is synonymous with lines, and waiting. I hated nothing more than waiting and waiting on line with a bunch of strangers for my turn in the spinning teacups or Small World boats. Even the haunted house had a three-mile long line. In my kiddie boredom, I'd do anything in my power to entertain myself while waiting on those awful lines. I'd dance in my spot, lace and retie my shoelaces 6 times in a row, wring my arms, pinch my baby sister's cheeks and play Peek-a-Boo with her, and even sing "The Wheels on the Bus" to anyone willing to listen on line in front of me. I'd also sit on and climb the separator fences used to keep the line organized, but it was really to hit to sit on those metal gates.

I was bored. I hated being bored. I'd try counting the people ahead of me on line, but that would only make me feel worse. (And it was the 80s and I couldn't see above all the big hair) And I never liked numbers. My parents never quite seemed as bored as me, and my baby sister was mostly asleep when we waited on those heinous Disney World lines.

At a young age, I came to a conclusion: I do NOT like waiting on lines. And: Waiting. On. Line. At. Disney. Was. Torture. Especially when you were below age 10. Even worse, my parents were strict about what their kids ate (No crap) so I wasn't allowed any cotton candy, dipping dots, or popcorn to eat while waiting. (But Ice-cream was OK. Don't want you thinking I was some sweet-deprived kid) I couldn't understand why I couldn't just STAY in the "It's a Small World" boat and go around the ride again...why did we have to get OUT to get back on the ride and wait on line again? These people couldn't possibly like the ride as much as I did.

I found out later on, my parents hated waiting on line back then as much as I did.  Finally--they bought one of those VIP cut-the-line passes and ever since then, we have never waited on a long line at Disney again--trust me, it's worth the investment if you are fidgety and impatient.

Now, as an adult, I’ve sadly gotten worse at waiting in line. The post office and the DMV are the worst. I have no place to sit (How great would it be if I could get a manicure while waiting on line at the Post Office?), nothing to read, and if I have to go to the bathroom, I am one of those women who cannot just hold it in. I’ll bring books to read on line or on airplanes and I’ll finish them early--then I’ll be completely bored for another 2 hours. I think I can read "War and Peace" --Twice--by the time it's my turn at Duane Reade to pay. Okay, maybe not. But it sure seems so. The worst lines in Manhattan are: 1. Duane Reade 2. ANY post office, especially the big, cold one on 34^th and 8^th, and 3. ANY H&M store where the line pretty much wraps around the store.

I wish I was a better line-waiter. I wish that I could entertain myself when holding a big bottle of shampoo and maybe some lip goo. But I can’t. (I don’t have an iPod. That’s a whole other article)  On line I wait..and wait…until it’s FINALLY my turn.

My goal over the next few weeks is to be a much better line waiter. I take suggestions on how to pass time more efficiently. Wish me luck!